Fast Track to Abs!
Do you ever wonder how athletes and celebrities get those toned physiques even with their busy schedules? We’ve recently discovered the secret that athletes and celebrities have been using for years, and we’re here to share it with you! And the best part is it’s cheap, easy to make and delicious. That’s right, with this special blend of ingredients you can go from flab to ab, fast!
Introducing the feline diet.
What is it?
The feline diet, also called the 9 Lives Diet, is a breakthrough in sports nutrition. Using the diet of your furry feline friend you can lose the weight you’ve always wanted while still enjoying a life binge watching Netflix and stalking your ex on Facebook. Here’s how it works:
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Drink 2 gallons of milk a day. We prefer 2%, but don’t be afraid to go all out.
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Consume all meat in the form of fish, preferably tuna.
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Power up throughout the day with a tasty treat. We like Whisker Lickin’s by Purrrrina.
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And now for the secret weapon—Catnip. Any brand will do. Use this to reward yourself for sticking with your diet!
Limit yourself to these three simple food groups and watch as the pounds practically fall off. And the best part is, you barely need to exercise! Enjoy all the naps you want. Look forward to long yawns and stretches. Soak up some Vitamin D in a window sill. You can even rub awkwardly up against house guests. It doesn’t matter--you will still lose weight!
While rare, some other side effects may include: extra facial and body hair, darting eyes, increased agility heightened reflexes.
